I recently saw my Psychiatrist, and he told me I definitely have Asperger's Syndrome and Pseudo Parkinson's Disease. (Pseudo meaning false, so it seems like I have PD but I don't have all of the symptoms). I also have ADHD  and SAD (Social Anxiety Disrder, and a little of schizophrenia (that was there in my early childhood actually)

He told me that those symptoms I have from my mental illnesses only come out when I'm in public, surrounded by many emotions. I don't know how to control my own brain yet since I'm only 19 (for those of you who don't know, 21 is the age when the brain is fully developed. So I've got time to perfect myself from avoiding these symptoms). 

I'm glad I have my family to back me up with moral support, and even my best friend Kaylee (who to me is family anyway.) I'm so glad to have them as my family. They're great people! And my one cousin told me that once I get used to all of these sideeffects and such with my meds, or get used to being around more people (like at parties), I'll come out of my closet slowly but surely by not tripping over anything in the dark. ^^

I kind of regret having these illnesses, but at the same time I feel like I'mm blessed for having these illnesses as a way to keep myself pure from anyone who objects my illnesses and learn how to cope with my issues.

I MIGHT BE HOMELESS SO PLEASE HELPOh my god. I never knew that this was going to happen but I beg of you to please help me.
My Mom came home just now crying to me. I didn't know what was wrong until she told me that my Dad doesn't have money to pay the mortage. Since my parents are not in good terms with each other (from a few journals back) this is more saddening news to me. I never expected it would be like this. I never wanted this to happen  
My mother also revealed to me that ever since she lost her job,we have been behind 1 month in the mortage. This is more shocking news because my sister is having trouble breathing at night so she needs a mini ac and we do not have it, my Dad spent more than what we thought he spended up in New York. Making is account balance $-800 and now this. 
My life has completely become a hell ever since 2 years ago and I really overall just sadden by everything that has happened.
So please I beg of you to help me with this. I might throw in a few sketches or something to make

I'm leaving tomorrow early morning at 5 AM. I'll be waking up a half hour before that time (so it would be 4:30 AM when I wake up). I'll be taking my phone, but not my laptop. Mainly because I'll be too busy, but also because there isn't much room in my dad's SUV. 

I'll also be taking my 3DS and my MPLAYER . My phone is only for taking pics, so people on here that have my number, please do not text or call me. My 3DS is for entertainment in the car. I'm going to be so bored in the car (it's a 9 hour long trip), so might as well take something to play with in the car.

 I am so excited for this wedding though. I will definitely take pics of the ceremonies and such. So no one will miss out on my fun ;3

I've been away for a few weeks, but I can certainly explain why. 

First thing, I am mentally ill, so I was admitted to a mental hospital called Lutheran Cleveland Clinic. I went there last time as well, and I kind of don't regret it. I've recently been diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease (don't ask how, I don't know myself). I'm taking medications called Haldol for it, which is actually used for multiple things; such as anxiety, mood stability, small dose for schizophrenia, and concentration level so I would not be so stressed in public (if while working on something or reading anything). 

I'm even taking sleeping meds and side effect meds (benztropine- 0.5 mg). But it would seem that the benztropine gives me a rare severe allergic reaction from each soap I would use at the mental hospital or at home (now I am home). Like, my palms were in such an irritating condition.. that they were actually peeling in different directions and shapes. It was really difficult for me to wash my hands even when not using soap. 

So my friend, Kaylee, decided to buy me a lotion made especially for Hypoallergenic people like me. It's called Lubriderm and it works fantastically. 

TEMPORARY PART:

I'll be leaving later on this month for my cousin's wedding. I can't wait to see her in Connecticut! I honestly don't care much for weddings, besides the free delicious food =w= but this time I'm actually really excited because I get to see my cousins in such a LONG time! And by long, I mean like since I was just a young girl (6-8 years old) <: P

HOPE EVERYONE WHO READS THIS HAS A WONDERFUL TIME.


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~Animegirl3213~

Every time I start to gain a little bit of faith in humanity, I lose it at the end of the day. At this point, I'm better off "running away" from home and never going back to civilization... but there's no fucking place to run to that doesn't have a civilization, or has any hint of real hope in this god-damn hell hole of a nation that's supposedly so "great" and "free". I often see common people post a picture or a video with captions that say, "We need more people like this" or anything else that pertains to having faith in humanity. 

Well, how about you actually do something good for once in your fucking god-damn life, instead of getting any job out there just for the sake of earning money and HOPING for something good to happen to you. I talk about eliminating money, and give plenty of good points as to why it should be gone, and people I debate with reply with, "How will that solve any problems?" and "What will you replace money with?" I reply with a simple answer (I would replace money with love. And no, I don't mean love seen between a couple, I mean any kind of love. Love for our own kind, whether it be male or female, hetero or homo, and so on and so forth), and the responses I receive make me seem like I'm just fantasizing. Well then.... at least I'm not ignorant enough to say "I love money, and I wish I had more of it" without even realizing that's the kind of view that leads to corruption in most people.

And I also don't wait around for something good to happen, unlike some people who don't understand that hoping/praying will not have any real outcome in life. That goes for ignorant people on social media sites getting -likes- to "pray" for a cancer patient, or any other upsetting situation. How the HELL is getting a bunch of -likes- on a picture that you basically plagiarized by sharing it, give that poor child the right support they need? You are sending them artificial hope, nothing more, nothing less. You're not a doctor trying to help the patient, and you're most definitely not showing much empathy for said individual by replying to the poster with "Amen". 

It doesn't matter what view points someone has, whether it be good or bad in general... people will never fucking stop being so god-damn narrow-minded about things. I talk with respect, but even I can only tolerate so much... and once I actually DO end up pissed off, my anger is misunderstood and I'll get comments that I've already heard of or know about.